Although the words, ‘charitable’ and ‘humble’ come to mind when thinking about my strengths, a small void starts to open when I turn the tables to the thought of what may be my weaknesses be. I start by regurgitating what others have indulged, “you care too much”. Lame. “You’re too hard on yourself”. Obvious and overused. Then I really think about it.
They start to pile in, like the letter latch, then all regions (chimney and all) of Harry Potter’s house when his uncle persists on ignoring the young wizard’s invitations to Hogwarts. Irrational, moody, awkward and so on. I can’t get a break as some sort of inner self enrols in ‘Self Loathing College” with classes commencing immediately! So, my advice when doing this (because you are all going to do this right away) is choose three. No resolutions; no fad diet or get rich quick plot or pyramid scheme happening here, just three easy things to work on in the upcoming 365 days. So, choose wisely.
Firstly, my biggest need for improvement would be my judgmental sentiments. I cannot help it; nothing seems to work properly, no-one fills my needs and nobody ever seems to get things right! This includes me. The reason I am so critical on most things outside my own box is because, within that same little box, judgement lives, festering away. I fear what I do every day as if it’s the worst thing to do. And even when something amazing happens, I yearn for more and rethink a new and better way in which the initial deed should have been fulfilled. I just cannot win, so good luck to anyone else! To Dearest Me, be less judgmental!
Secondly, speak nicely. I am aware of it but like an ant to a sugar mound, with each sentence, I cannot resist. I swear like an Irish sailor! And it does my head in. On the very first day of 2018, I made a pact with myself; do not swear! Or else! “But you’re a teacher”, you may be thinking. I know, right. Soon the day will come when I slip one out. Trust me, the consequences would be even worse than the time Granny left a rotten rendition of Advance Australia Fair through her bum trumpet as I laying across her lap. I caught myself out once around lunch and thought of the creation of a swear jar – a great way to save money for the next big chapter in the life of me! No this isn’t going to work, I’ll end up just filling a jar up and pissing (I mean, throwing) it down the drain. As dinner and a game of cricket rolled round, my tally had topped around fifteen potty words – this was when I was consciously trying not to swear, imagine when I got to footy training or even worse, lost my temper! Nevertheless, I will try mightily to curb this naughty habit. To dearest Me, stop swearing!
Although there were several honourable mentions in this list, three is the magic number. Drum roll please… negativity! Maybe it’s my hectic lifestyle and inability to sleep (even now, I’m writing this instead of sleeping like the others in this holiday shack) or perhaps my number one flaw? It could even just be I am a pessimist! Nope, the opposite actually. Whatever the cause, I need to be more positive about things in everyday life. Most of us do. As the metaphoric title coincidently adopts, this is certainly my achilles heel, and I must add, my footballing injury which has been disrupting my true passion, playing the great game, is; yep, you guessed it, my achilles! I wonder if I succeed with these remedies to a happy and fruitful 2018, my injury will subside? Only time will tell. To dearest Me, be positive!
Anyway, what are you waiting for, start brainstorming (but not too hard, you may bring out your inner demon) all your flaws and pick three you are going to change this year. It’s far better than setting unrealistic and ridiculously boring goals for the eighth year straight. Just be the person you have always wanted to be and rid yourself of those nasty bad points your personality relentlessly tries to swat. There you have it, that feels good. Honesty helps. Is that a strength or a flaw? Too much storming for this brain… Happy New Year!